A trifle stifling

It’s too hot. This heat wave is just getting crazy now!! Last night was bad. It just seemed to keep getting hotter instead of gifting a little bit of relief! Tonight, while maybe not quite as hot, is shaping up to be much the same as last night.

Of course being kept awake by the lack of air conditioning in my life just helps fuel the brain into overthinking everything it feels like overthinking. Why can it never be the good stuff? For example, I had an exceptional piece of carrot cake as a sweet treat today and I could happily relive that delight a million times over!!

Mmm cake…

Anyway, I must say that I’m very jealous of Daisy. When she gets too hot she just lies on the floor. I have tiles and she loves how cool they are. But then she gets on the bed and steals my pillow once she has cooled down enough. Thief. Lucky she’s cute. I know I’m starting to feel my age when the thought of lying on the floor to soak up the cool tiles makes my body hurt just knowing I would have to get up again. Time to add more yoga into my life hehe.

Well my eyes are finally starting to feel a little heavy and I have managed to steal back a small piece of the pillow so I better attempt sleep. If that doesn’t come I have another one of those things that help lined up – a book!! Or 5…

Sweet dreams xxx

Mindfulness

I have had the last 2 days off work and have really worked hard at mindfulness and being in the moment.  I had a great day yesterday. Once I got up and did a couple of chores, I lathered on some sunscreen and lay in the backyard for a couple of hours. It was so hot! And so nice to feel the sun soaking in to my skin and some of the tension I have been carrying around just melt away. Then I got out of the house for a few hours and went and hung out at Burleigh Hill with my sister and Daisy dog.  The change of scenery and the company and the fresh sea air was amazing. And I slept like a log last night!!

Today I went to visit my other sister and actually do something about my hair.  A new colour was definitely past due!! I was reminded yesterday that a new colour can improve your mood and with the grey colour starting to reflect my grey mood (or maybe it was the other way around) it was time for a change. Getting out of the house again was also awesome.  Keeping busy really does help to keep me out of my head! 

Right now I can’t sleep.  I’m in a bit of pain which is never good and the coffee I had this afternoon is biting back now.  I did finish a couple of pages in my mindfulness colouring book though so that felt good! Finishing anything is good for me at the moment!! Ha, starting anything is good for me right now!!

I can feel some of the tension creeping back in because I go back to work tomorrow.  The best thing is that I’m shifting my focus to catching up with my friends I work with and trying not to focus on the negative.  It’s kinda hard because I have been unknowingly training myself to get stressed in the workplace for the last month or so.  But I’m all for rebelling against myself so I will work hard to get back to just being me and my best. That’s all I can do, right?

Well I have left myself only a few hours for sleep so I better go and try to make the most of them. It does feel good to be writing again. 

❤️❤️

Stress sponge

I realised today that I’m taking on the stress around me again. I mentioned last time about things that are out of my control that are upsetting me… I’m sucking up the stress of those situations and just making my head space worse.  The good news is that I’m normally stuck much deeper in my head when I recognise this than I am now. The bad news is I’m not really sure how to stem the flow.

I walk into work and am instantly on alert for things that can go wrong and I’m starting to feel the weight of not being able to fix what’s broken. It’s not my job to fix anything. It’s making me paranoid!! I see threats to my job and my happiness around every corner. It’s really starting to upset me.  I guess on some level I know that I’m starting to make things up to stress about but the old feelings seem to be taking over and controlling how I’m reacting to life.  Do I have a stress addiction??? 

I have the next two days off. I’m going to spend them engaging in mindfulness.  I need to bring myself back from the past and all the feelings I am trying to reconnect to and to stop myself leaping into the future and using old patterns to try and predict the worst possible outcome.  It’s so hard to be in the now when shit feels so huge and unmanageable.  But I have tools…

• Exercise – walking the dog!!!
• Colouring books
• Meditation guides
• Tim tams (I’m sure they count!!!)

Hopefully by the time I walk back through the doors on Tuesday I will feeling more in control of the things I need to be worrying about and not just making shit up to feed old habits. This life thing is such a pain in the ass some days!!! 

Be amazing all!! Xx